The Incompleteness Paradox

PREFACE: The thoughts below are from a dear brother, a Philosopher, a Scientist, and a Researcher. For clarity, this piece is aptly titled. Google defines a paradox as a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well-founded or true. The incompleteness part of the idea shared emphasizes the ongoing proposition of the author on life, happiness, and loss.- Signed, Lana Bamiro.

What do your intangibles say? Hold fast. Dig deep. Keep on pushing. Never let go. Fight on. Soldier on. I will not be denied. A host of aphorisms to cope with the human condition, to deal with the anguish of existence, to fuel a lifetime of struggle, perhaps in a certain sense, to anchor achievement. In spite of the overwhelming insertion of these phrases into motivational speeches, religious messages, and ubiquitous moral teachings, it doesn’t always work. Words do not always have a handle on despair. In contrast, the wisdom of the Yorubas and the ancient Greeks, prefer that we live in the moment and worry little about the future. Sounds millennial, I know. Silenus, a prominent figure in Greek mythology, was once asked to expound what was best for man. He answers that, it is for him not to be, and that the second most important thing is for him to die quickly. Sounds severe, but therein lies the wisdom, at least, I think.

With all the technological advancements of the last century, the pathway to happiness muddies, the lurking feeling of incompleteness takes on new dimensions and emerges from the corners of our minds with renewed vigor. While happiness has always been nondescript in its form and undetermined about its realization, the role of the collective has never been more pronounced in its subjective rendition than now, with the principal-agent of intrusion being social media — an agent of the people, by the people and against the people!

So, our antecedents worked out a lot of things, and were kind enough to either document them or pass them down through aphorisms, that their wisdom can illuminate our paths, right? At least in the areas of life where some linear relationship exists between input and output — our ancestors provide the model, we work out the coefficients, that’s how it always worked, isn’t it? Yet, something seems to be perpetually missing from our lives, in ways never before expressed, at least enough to require an addendum to “words to live by”. It appears that even for the most advanced participator in our modern life, there is a growing feeling of unease. Take Instagram, for example, with every picture or video shared, we demonstrate that something is missing from our lives for which the activity around a post or a series of posts tries to compensate. No one is exempt from this, not even people who abhor social media, this is our modern life.

It is fair to say, that the feeling of incompleteness is common, even quintessentially human, and several high achievers have taken advantage of this feeling to advance the sciences and arts. However, we have never been as connected, as we are at the moment, connected to the actions of other people, endlessly trying to be better or fill a void. Our generation has a feedback loop, social media, bringing the heat back into the system. The world travails, the species groans, are we approaching a cataclysmic crescendo?

Like most people, I have always preferred the aphorisms that push me towards achievement. I try to be better, and I am anxious if measurable improvements are absent. In this regard, I set goals and reflect, from time to time. It was during one of such, that I became lost in a reverie of some sort, I think.

Betrayed by the pandemic, the awful lot of alone time it affords, I recalled many events from my life, some people who I once knew very well, I examined where I am now and ultimately where I hope to be. In the end, I cried.

For all that was lost, gained, I cried. I cried for my late mom, my dad, my brothers, my sister, for their lives and the struggle it has been. I cried for the triumphs I have had, what it meant in those moments and the meaning it continues to hold. But more so for the weight of the unknown and all its ramifications in our modern world. I cried for the soul of the passing moment and for all who have lost their lives without reprieve. For all that cannot be undone, I cried.

Written by Tosin Ogundare, PhD

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